1. Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."
2. Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."
Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"
3. Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first -the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
4. Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
5. Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
6. What's Ford?Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
7. Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.'
8. Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
9. Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
10. Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
11. Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.
1day a pigeonreaches Banta without message.
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
12. Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
13. Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
14. A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
15. Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
16. Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money
17. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
18. Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koiupay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
19. Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
20. Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
21. Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
22. Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
23. Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry?
BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
24. Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
25. Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?Santa: Very long!
26. Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!
27. Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?' 'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant. 'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.
28. Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
29. Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died. Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'
30. Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,Santa: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
31. Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
32. A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop. Santa says... Drink quickly...... Wife asks why... Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.
33. Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater. Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!
34.Banta: Y? Santa: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Y did'nt u try to Xchnge?
Santa: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
35. Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floorAt the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.
36. Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly. Banta asks why he does this. Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
37. Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep? Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
38. Santa - "why are all these people running?"
Banta - "This is a race, the winner will get the cup."
Santa - "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?"
39. Santa proposed to a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Santa said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.
40. On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring? He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?
41. Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.Do u know what the business was?He opened a Saloon in Punjab!